Rocky Horror X-Men Show.
by The Bud
Summary: I got bored. Let me know If I should contenue.


Disclaimer: I own neither Marvel nor Rocky Horror rights. Please, I beg you don't  
  
  
Sue me. I am but a low college student. Nothing in this story is mine! Nothing!  
  
  
  
  
I had gotten the idea for this story while I was chatting on line. If anybody else has done this,  
  
Thank you, I am not alone. If you or a loved one has done this, please, email me at   
  
tintedhands@hotmail.com and I'll give you due credit upon the next installment.  
  
Yer ol' pal, The Bud.  
  
P.S...Dallas...Mmmmmwahhh.  
  
Brad: Scott. duh.  
  
Janet: Jean. double d.u.h.  
  
Dr. Scott: Professor X.  
  
Dr. Frank. N. Furter: Wolverine. what the hell?  
  
RiffRaff: Cable. you'll see.  
  
Magenta: Rachel. patience my dears.  
  
Eddie: Skin  
  
Columbia: Jubilee  
  
  
Rocky: Sabertooth. don't ask. Valerie Cooper didn't fit the role.  
  
Freaks and Geeks: all the other X-Men.  
  
  
Man with no neck: Probably a narrator.   
  
""speech  
  
thought  
  
"Rocky Horror X-Men Show."  
  
We get to the theater just a little late and end up Interrupting The "Damn it, Janet song.  
  
So , ha! Live with it!  
  
Scott: Damn it, Janet, I wanna screw! And thats one goal to shoot for, can it?  
  
Jean: Oh, Sco.. I mean Oh Brad!  
  
Scott: You know, this all started in Dr. Scott's laboratory. Marry me now or I'll kill you!  
  
:Jean Whispers Scott, those aren't the words!  
  
Scott whines Brad like. I never saw the show!  
  
Jean: Ass!  
  
Scott: Slut!  
  
  
So, anyhow, I'm here to take you on a strange journey. This story kept me up all night.  
  
  
  
After a long ride to go see Dr. Scott with the other Scott, hell, lets just call him Dork,  
  
  
  
In the trunk, a freak rain storm blows out all four tires and Janet and Brad...tee hee  
  
  
  
Start walking and see a mansion.  
  
  
  
Jean: I feel a song coming on.  
  
  
Scott: Strangely, I feel it too.  
  
  
Both: There's a fright! Living in the Marvel office, There's a fright!   
  
  
Writing the new X-Book again! There's a fright! Fright! Friiight! In the closet  
  
  
Of every fanboy's life!  
  
  
Strange man in tower: I wrote comics when you were still in school, Clones and  
  
  
Living dead villians, I knew how to make you drool. People that were long gone,  
  
  
Mysteriously return, but that's all old now. I need a new story, one that's really bold!  
  
  
  
Scott and Jean: There's a fright! Fright! Friiiight! In the darkness of Marvel Comics  
  
  
Plight!  
  
  
Scott: I know! I'll ask to use the creepy guy's phone!  
  
And Scott knocks on the door, getting us all in a mess. Lets give him a "Toast".  
  
  
  
Scott: Oww! Where's all this bread coming from?  
  
  
Jean: Ass.  
  
  
Scott: Slut.  
  
  
RiffRaff: Can I help you?  
  
  
Scott: Yes! Sc..hmmm Brad Majors, We'd like to use your phone.  
  
  
RiffRaff: Your Wet.  
  
  
Scott: Yes, Well, it's raining, and that always turns J..anet on, so we  
  
  
Took a tumble out here on your lawn.  
  
  
RiffRaff: I see. Your very fortunate. The Master is having a party tonight.  
  
  
Scott: I see, we just wanna use your bone. Uh, Phone.  
  
  
RiffRaff: Do .. come in.  
  
  
Jean to Scott: Dick!  
  
  
They all stand talking to each other for a few minutes when Dr. Frank N Furter comes down.  
  
  
  
And Jean swoons out of pure fustra...tion.  
  
  
  
Wolverine wearing fishnet and heels: Oh yea now, howye doin? I see you met my   
  
  
Techno-organic man. Bub. Don't get strung out, by the way I look!  
  
  
Bub, don't judge a flannel by it's pat..tarrrn. 'Couse I'm just a sweet Canuck ite,  
  
  
From Can central , Canad a dia Ha Ha!  
  
Scott: We had a flat, We just wanna use your phone!  
  
  
Wolverine ignoring Scott and looking at Jean's chest: Got caught with a  
  
  
  
Flat, how about that. Bub, Your girl's one sexy mother..era! Why don't you  
  
  
  
Stay fer tha night.  
  
  
Ray: Night!  
  
  
Wolverine: And maybe a bite,  
  
  
Jubilee: Bite licks her lips repeatedly at Dork.  
  
  
Wolverine: And maybe some, activity?  
  
  
Dork: I don't even know your name!  
  
  
Wolverine: And mabeeeeeee tonight! I'll remove the shnapps, but not the Molson!   
  
  
whispers oh yea, come to my party now eh? We got some freaky stuff goin on.  
  
  
You'll just have to survive, Canadai...........n inflation.  
  
  
  
With this, Wolverine goes off to get his party stash without realizing   
  
  
  
He remembered the fishnets, but not the leather teddy.  
  
  
  
Riff raff/ Cable: Your very lucky to be invited to the Masters party.  
  
  
  
Magenta: Some people'd give their right arm to see it!  
  
  
  
Dork: Like this guy?  
  
  
  
Cable just stares because his left arm is the techno arm.  
  
  
  
Magenta: Ha! I've seen it!  
  
  
  
Jean: Brad! What are they doing!  
  
  
  
Scott: They're just stripping us dear, like you do in the bar!  
  
  
  
With this, Jean kicks Cyclops in the left nut.  
  
  
  
Magenta: Um.. Hey! I have an Idea!  
  
  
Cable: Ohh, yea! I forgot! Hmmf Huh huh huh hmmmpf.  
  
  
  
Cable/Riff raff: Um, Mom.. I mean Janet, very time you do that, you change  
  
  
  
A time line and another little Rachel or Christoper doesn't get born.  
  
  
  
Magenta: Seamen gets footed, in the ball.  
  
  
Riff Raff: The pain is astounding, vomit fleeting, retching, takes it's toll.   
  
  
With a bit of a foot trick,  
  
  
  
Magenta: Your into the Time Slip! Ahh  
  
  
  
Riff: Well secluded, Nuts feel it all.  
  
  
  
Magenta: No pain medication,  
  
  
  
Raff: Will put you under sedation!   
  
  
  
All: Lets do a Time Line again!  
  
  
  
Man with no neck: It's just a Summers to the left!  
  
  
  
All: And a Grey to the riiiiight!  
  
  
  
Man: Mr. Sinister is pissed!  
  
  
  
All: And it serves him right! He did genetic tests, 'till it drove him in sa a a   
  
  
  
A ain! Lets Do a Time Line again! Lets Do a Time Line again!  
  
  
  
Man: It's just a Summers to the left!  
  
  
  
All: And a Grey to the riiiiight!  
  
  
  
Man: Cyclops is a whuss!  
  
  
  
All: With his whities to tiight! He has belly button crust,  
  
  
  
That he eats every day ay ay ay ay!  
  
  
  
Lets do a Time line again!  
  
  
  
Columbia: I was reading in a shop, a little comic of me.  
  
  
I looked me up, I found a wild surprise, I was old, crusty  
  
  
And green! Time lines, nothing that's what I say!  
  
  
  
All: Lets do a time line again! Lets do a time line again!  
  
  
  
Cyclops farts and everybody falls down dead as well as the no neck guy  
  
  
In the alternate universe.  
  
  
  
Dork: Oops, sorry. Say! That was one swell party you had going on here!  
  
  
  
Jean: Your weird.  
  
  
  
Wolverine: You ruined my party! Now I have to make my man, With  
  
  
  
Blond hair and fangs. Just so he can kick yer ass.  
  
  
  
Scdork: She already does.  
  
  
  
Jean attempts to feed Scott to Riff Raff at this point.  
  
  
  
Wolverine: Lights! Nudey mags! And turn up the lager three more kegs!  
  
  
It's alive! Alive! Ahahahahahahha!  
  
  
  
Rocky comes out of the tanks and immediately starts fighting Wolverine.  
  
  
  
The fight spirals up the stairs, past the geeks and freaks and continues  
  
  
  
Until Skin Drives in on Wolvie's motorcycle.  
  
  
  
  
Columbia: Eddie!  
  
  
  
Skin: What ever happened to me last night? I had some Mezo, I thought  
  
  
  
I was fine! I walked into my room and turned out the light,  
  
  
  
Crawled into bed, it wasn't Miiiiine! Oh Jubilee, Bless my soul, I really  
  
  
  
Love the way you snore! Oh, Jubilee, way to go! I really love the way you roll!  
  
  
  
At this Jubilee and Skin start making out and Wolverine starts chasing Skin  
  
  
  
Through the freezer and claws him.  
  
  
  
Wolverine, looking at Rocky Sabertooth: I Didn't want to do it! It was a mercy  
  
  
  
Killing.   
  
  
  
With this Wolverine and Sabertooth go and beat the crap outta each  
  
  
  
Other in the Canada room. And everybody retires to their quarters   
  
  
  
Until the next story.  
  
  
  
Wolverine: I'll put your ass in a can, ca a a an!   
  
  
.......................................  
  
Part Two... Later! What do ye think?  
  



End file.
